May Kindness Rule in Our Hearts

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” – Mark Twain

This holiday season my hope is that kindness rules in the hearts of everyone so that we may experience peace. Kindness isn’t just how we treat our loved ones. It’s the random acts of kindness in the little things; such as letting someone go in front of you in the grocery line, showing appreciation and thanking the Amazon delivery driver who is dropping off packages at all times of the day and night, paying for the “next in line” at Starbucks, helping a stranger load their Costco boxes into their car, letting a car or two or three merge onto a busy road, smiling at a stranger and saying “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays”…

The holidays can be exciting, frustrating, happy, sad. We have different beliefs, expectations, traditions, hopes, and dreams. Kindness can turn what we have or don’t have into more than enough.

As a child, the Christmas season was my absolute favorite time of the year. My cousins would come for their yearly visit and we would go to grandma’s house where my aunt prepared amazing food and baked her signature “ammonia cookies”. We put puzzles together, played games, sang Christmas songs, and laughter filled the air. We didn’t get a lot of presents… we would get one “main present” which could be a bathrobe or doll for the girls and a train set, game or shoes for the boys. The other presents could include a pair of gloves, pajamas, a record or book. Our stockings were filled with an orange and candy.

I loved the lights, the smell of a fresh cut pine tree, singing Christmas Carols and the quietness of the chaos of the hustle and bustle of every day life. It was a time to be with the ones I loved.

As I grew older and I had children of my own, I craved creating the holiday traditions I knew as a child. Yet it became difficult… divorce and broken relationships created animosity, fighting, frustration, dividing time with the kids, working extra to make ends meet, credit cards maxed out so that the kids didn’t feel the “lack”. I am such a giver by nature that the stress I put on myself to have the most amazing Christmas became overwhelming and emotional. Instead of spreading joy it ended up, more often than not, with fighting and tears.

As the years passed by, life continued its ever constant change. Families lived in different states, loved ones passed on, years would go by without seeing siblings, let alone cousins. My daughters had children and the health of our parents wained. Yet the holidays still held a special place in my heart and I constantly looked for ways to re-create the special memories of my youth.

Today, as I reflect on the ebb and flow of life and of the holidays, I remember specific acts of kindness from strangers, family, and friends that helped reconnect me to what was really important and gave me a little more hope that things were going to be okay. I realize that there are seasons in our lives where Christmas and the holidays are magical… belief, excitement, hope, and giving – it’s the mountaintop experience! Other times, our holidays are filled with sadness, loneliness, loss, heartaches, fear and frustration. We are missing seats at the table, expectations go unmet, bills mounting… there are so many unknowns.

Kindness heals. Kindness soothes. Kindness lets us know that we’re not alone and some how, some way we can get through today. Kindness breeds hope.