2020… The year that shook us up in so many ways…. it shook us in what we knew, rocked our stability, and challenged our beliefs  It was truly the year of learning, unlearning, and relearning.  Our assumptions of what is possible and HOW is this possible was a constant in our lives.   

And, we became students… in every element of our lives doing things we’ve never done before; figuring out technology, having more Zoom and Teams calls than we can count, learning how to connect without physically connecting.  Sporting events, concerts, vacations, family get togethers were cancelled again and again and again.  Some of us haven’t seen our parents, children, or loved ones in person for almost a year.  Working and schooling from home became the norm as did eating outside.  Our wardrobes changed (masks are now like underwear and you can’t leave home without it) and we don’t have to dress up to go to the office.

Anger, frustration, fear, and anxiety ripped at our hearts and then there were moments where we could breathe a bit and find faith, hope, and love only to get back on the roller coaster of anger, frustration and fear.  Up and down… up and down… up and down…

Through all of this, it’s been amazing to watch  the human race rise up in the face of adversity; becoming stronger, more resilient, and creative. We have the ability to adapt, begin again and do things better.  We invent and build as we continue to shift and pivot.  Ultimately, we are at choice as to what we want to create – do you want a life where you are able to adapt, shift, invent, build, and create?  Or you do prefer to be stuck, stagnant and stale where anger, resentment, justification, and bitterness is in the forefront of your mind? There’s a saying “Do you want to be bitter or do you want to be better”?  Most of us don’t consciously want to be stuck or bitter.  We just don’t know how to move forward and don’t know what we don’t know.  When we wake up to what is possible and start asking the questions; “What am I doing, what thoughts am I thinking, what actions am I taking”, is where freedom to create begins. 

What we focus on is what we see and what we look for becomes our focus.  Are you focusing on what you don’t have, what you can’t have, or the rules that changed your norm? OR, are you looking through a “so what now what” lens?  What can I do, what haven’t I seen, what don’t I know?  Questions lead to answers.  What questions are you asking?  When we are willing to dive in and truly look to see, and listen to hear is where we can think new thoughts, have clarity, and fresh ideas which breeds hope.   

As 2020 comes to an end and we look forward to 2021, I believe it’s important to:

Pause – Slow down and be present.  Life doesn’t stop… there are always bills to pay, work to be done, things to do.  Take in a deep breath…  do you feel that?  You’re alive!Tap into gratitude for gratitude unlocks creativity, strength, and hope. 

Reflect – What lessons did you learn? How did you shift, pivot, and change?  Who are you today because of what you went through?  Who helped you?  Who did you help?  How did you find connection?  Adversity develops our character, how did you develop your character?  Are you who you want to be?  What do you want to improve on?  There is always another level.

Learn –  What are the greatest lessons you learned this past year?  What did you do to learn, relearn, and unlearn?  And with the learning… what do you need to start doing, stop doing, or continue to do to make 2021 a better year?  We have the power of choice in how we apply the lessons.

Mourn –  We lost loved ones, there’s a huge division within this country as well as our communities and even families.  Some of us lost our jobs, closed businesses, put our education on hold, and paused our dreams.  It’s okay to mourn, to be sad and even angry.  It’s part of the change and grieving process.   Loss and grief cause us emotional and physical pain but bring us to a deeper understanding of the true value and meaning of life.  We grieve because we love and to love is to live.

Celebrate –   Some of us had great successes in 2020 and are in a better place then we’ve ever been.  I’ve had conversations with many who are here and they feel guilty for being in a good place.   CELEBRATE your successes, celebrate the wins.  It’s okay to be in a good place.  This is your mountain top.  There are so many ups and downs, peaks and valleys, good times and hard times in life.  It’s important to honor the good times.  It gives you a road map of how you got here and when things get tough (as life does), you have a place to pull from so you can duplicate what you did to get to where you’re at now.

Be okay with wherever you are and learn from it.   Life is messy, life is beautiful.  Life is hard.  Life is good.  2020 isn’t an ending and 2021 isn’t a beginning.  It’s a going on with all wisdom that experience can instill in us.  

2021, may you find hope, healing, peace, clarity, creativity, joy, and strength.  May you stay grounded in the things that matter and let go of the things you can’t control.

Celebrate the wins…
Learn the lessons…
Focus on what you can control…
Continue to dream…

Mary Belden-McGrath