Check In… Check Up

We just entered the second month of 2021… for many of us, the first of the year feels like a fresh start, a new outlook, new beginnings.   We set intentions and adjust our focus, pick a word for the year, set goals.  We were going to eat cleaner, exercise more, read, clean out closets, organize the garage, get rid of the old to make way for the new.  This is the year that we write that book, lose those 10 lbs, do a cleanse, create new habits, volunteer, take a college or online course…

Did you know that studies show that the people who set resolutions the first of the year:

• 9 out of 10 will fail?
• And over 50% of them fail and quit by the end of January.

Why?  We have great intentions, we have the desire, we see a need to do this/have this, or we wouldn’t go after it.   We are driven by two main forces in our lives; pain and pleasure.  It is human nature that we go away from what is painful (hard) and gravitate to the path of least resistance… the pleasure.     For short bursts, the pain of where we’re at is so great that we are committed to doing whatever it takes to “breakthrough” and stick with the discipline to get the results we want.  For a short time… and then we fall, we slip up.  We eat that piece of chocolate, have that glass of wine, fall short in our workouts, we are so hungry and the salad isn’t cutting it so we snack on chips and salsa… and then we beat ourselves up.  We become discouraged and the slip-up feeds into the old patterns and habits because it’s what we know and it’s easier… the path of least resistance.  Pretty soon we are back to doing what we’ve always done and we forget the intention and focus we set at the first of the year.  There’s always next week…. next month… next year.

I give the example of health/weight because so many people go after this.  Do you want to lose 10 lbs or live a healthy lifestyle?  Do you want to clean your liver and reset your metabolism for a week?  Or, is this to jumpstart you into truly becoming a person who wants to live this way all of the time?  And here’s the real kicker… if you pause and think, “Am I really willing to live this way consistently and change my lifestyle from here on out” or, in the back of your mind you’re counting down the days to WHEN you can have coffee, carbs, sweets, alcohol, then you won’t stick with a certain way of eating, because it isn’t about who you want to be.  It’s what you want to accomplish.

The reason we fail in our goals and intentions is that we focus on the wrong thing.  We focus on the outcome (goal) instead of who we truly want to become and the process.  Once you know who you want to be, it’s easier to do the work because it is in alignment with what drives and motivates you.

Set Yourself Up for Success:

• First, know WHO you want to be.   What type of person do you truly want to become?  Not just for a week, or a month, or this year.  For life!  It’s not a once in awhile focus… it’s part of your DNA. Do you want to be healthy, disciplined, organized, follow-through, trustworthy, authentic?  Do you want to be a great parent, significant other, friend, daughter, son, boss, co-worker?
• When you know who you want to be… now it’s time to look at what this type of person would do.  A healthy person may drink more water, cut out sugar, limit carbs, eat fresh fruits and vegetables, exercise consistently, get outside, meditate.   A disciplined person might work from a budget, time block, follow a system, have checks and balances and create accountability.   
• Do the work, day in and day out.  Create an action plan that sets you up for success.  It’s the little things that make a big difference.  Remember, this is about being in alignment with who you want to be.  Here are some ideas:
  • • If you want to be a writer, write something every day.  Set a timer for 5 minutes and write.
    • If you want to be a reader, read something every day.  Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and read.
    • If you want to be active, pick an action item that will help you be more active. Every day move your body.  Do something, whether it’s 20 pushups, 10 minutes on the peloton, a walk around the neighborhood, playing catch with your kids.  Just move your body.
    • If you want to be a person of discipline.  Start with making your bed every day. 
    • If you want to be present in your relationships, put your phone on DND at dinner and have a conversation.
    • Just start… start small and do that one thing consistently!
• Create an accountability system.  This is big!  Write the vision down and make it plain so that you may read it and run with it.  Know your vision, work the system, and track yourself.  When you are clear with who you are and know what actions to take, now you create a scoreboard and score yourself daily. How did you do with what you said you do?  

Consistency is about doing the little things, day in and day out.  When you set yourself up for success and the actions you’re taking aren’t overwhelming, you might actually start to enjoy the baby steps.  And then… it becomes a part of you.  Who you truly want to be, you’ll become!

Today is a new day.  This is day 1!
You can’t change yesterday.
So what now what.
Do what you can with where you are.
Start again.
Focus on being who you want to be.
You got this!

Mary Belden-McGrath