Go Big or Go Home

Be the change you want to see. This is a great concept but do we actually have the power and self-direction to go forth in the world and make change. Are we ready? And even more so, are we willing? And to change the world, we may well need to first change ourselves. Whether personal or professional, individual change involves humility and sacrifice. Not to mention, putting forth the effort to change oneself or to change the world always exacts a price. I’ve always loved the quote: “Real change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.” I’ve seen this quote accredited to Tony Robbins, Henry Cloud, and a host of other writers and inspirational speakers. So I think I’ll now take credit for it … since it’s not clear where the quote was initiated, but obviously they are all directly speaking about my life.

At this juncture of my life, I can look back and see it as a series of intentional deconstructions and reconstructions, or wildly abandoned demolitions followed by systematic rebuilding. I’ve had pretty much one season per decade, each representing an important turning point and significant growth. Each period of growth has launched me into a new season, an intellectually, emotionally and spiritually healthier season. If I am doing it right, trusting the growth, leaning into the change, then looking at my present after each transition, I should see more health. More wholeness. Isn’t that how it should work?

In any case, the release of old patterns, old lifestyles awakens us into greater wholeness and well-being. A similar quote by Anaïs Nin says… “the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” This perfectly encapsulates the process.

Yes, for a while as I continue to process the BOLD experience and adapt to new growth, you will periodically, and possibly continually, hear about the program.

Going through BOLD: Advanced Leadership, I was catapulted into change, lead directly into a position to blossom. To my surprise, and certainly to the surprise of others, I found myself impacted by emotion. By my own internal emotions – something that does not come often with me. Multiple times I’d try to say something and the words would get stuck in my throat and I had to collect myself to articulate my thoughts. This is change. Without truly knowing it, I have always been guarded and a bit wary; suspicious of looking outside of myself for happiness and well being. To do that you have to trust others….never been my strong suit. So much easier to just trust yourself, whether you succeed or fail, it’s all in you. There was a moment at BOLD, as I sat in the horseshoe circle, I realized that I was being fully accepted. No one was judging me. No one was thinking less of me. Everyone was rooting for me, for my success, my processes, my personal growth. Fifteen “strangers” were quietly and compassionately being there for me. We were a team in transition, all of us having decided that the risk of remaining closed to each other was greater than the risk of opening up. How often does that happen in life? Not a lot in my experience.

I think it’s fascinating that the very act of communicating with others can bring me into a more intimate contact with myself. The moment in which I started to open up to others was the moment in which I opened up to myself and acknowledged, and thereby removed, my personal roadblocks. To move forward boldly, we must remove our own roadblocks or walls. Of course, we live in era of reinvention. Don’t like who you are, what you look like or how you perform, change it. A quote credited to Nelson Mandela goes something like this: “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. A son or daughter of the King. You playing small does not serve the world. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Whether Mandela actually said it or not doesn’t matter, it is truth. Want to see change? Do something!

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would be enough to solve most of the world’s problems.”

When I suggest you help change the world, I’m not talking about planet Earth. I’m referring to the world that exists in your own head. You will not change the world if you don’t change your own world, your own perception, first. Take a step. It’s time to play big. Change yourself and just watch how the world around you starts to change. I just might adopt a new motto: Play Big or Go Home.

Submitted by: Deb Bostwick

Ref: BOLD Team 2016