Locked in a room with 14 strangers in the mountains of East LA, on the border of San Bernardino … our mission – find the champion within us. No cell service, so internet, just bugs and crickets plus, a random coyote, a tailless lizard and a mouse. Day 1″ begins at 5:30 with dinner followed by Session 1. A 3-day exploration – digging deep – who am I, where am I in life and most importantly why am I? What am I about?
As I reflect on the last year, there is a miss, a gaping hole that I’ve been staring into for 16 months. Where is the passion, the enthusiasm? What do I get enthusiastic about, what creates a burning desire within me? It used to be work – certainly. With every job I’ve had, I’ve been all in, fully committed, driven to the 100th degree. But as I age, as I’ve changed careers for the 4th time, beginning my 5th decade of work, I find myself floundering with my “why.” I like the work I do. I love the people I do it with. But I lack passion. I blame my job change, the work I do, the weather, my body, my energy level …. blame, blame, blame.
But it’s me. I’ve lost focus. I’ve taken my eye off the ball, heck I can’t even find the ball. After leaving my 10-year job at North Coast church, I wrote about this feeling of disconnect. Somehow like I broke up with God. The feeling of leaving ministry, stepping out of His calling … because I no longer have a church extension, church email or church desk. Seriously? I know the answers – God uses us, God uses me. He just wants me to land and get my eyes back on Him, so he can do work through me (yes, and you, so listen up!)